your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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