That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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