so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
