sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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