it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize