Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
