whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
