Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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