yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
