forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
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We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
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For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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