'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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