were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
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