Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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