Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
