i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
