and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
