Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
