his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
