saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
