Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
