she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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