I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
