Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
