got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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