We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
