its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
