She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You're a waste of cheezeits
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Randomize
