Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize