i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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