We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
