Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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