Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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