He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
