I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
