So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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