he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
