Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize