I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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