brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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