$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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