i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
