You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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