Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
