Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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