is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
