It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
