$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
