I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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