He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
