PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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