Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
he had hair everywhere except his balls
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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