I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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