Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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