He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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