im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
