i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
