his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
