if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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