Got a toothbrush?
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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