I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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