And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
