she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
