He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
